ASW 09 Wrapup Post Part 3 of 3: The Drama

22 January
20 Comments
by nickycakes

spit

Welcome to the 3rd and final installment of the ASW 09 wrapup post.  Most of you were probably holding your breath for this one, but before it gets out of hand, a little disclaimer.  The information in this post is probably all made up, fiction, satire, alleged 2nd hand knowledge, unreliable, and for entertainment purposes only.  Also, any events that may or may not have occured outside affiliate summit, such as things that happen at parties, are really in no way related to the show itself.  Things can get a little crazy in vegas.

Tame In-Show Drama

It’s always fun to see the interactions between companies that dislike eachother when they’re forced together at a trade show.  Last years ASW had Azoogle and Copeac booths located next to eachother which made for some fun times and hilarious promotional materials.  Copeac had some great little flyers with an arrow “coincidentally” pointing at the booth next door and saying some fun things about “the competition.”  At this ASW, as well as ASE in Boston last year, copeac brought these awesome foam slingshot rockets and had their booth mysteriously within firing range of “the competition.”  Some chick at the booth started getting pissed when Nickycakes and his friends rolled up and started grabbing rockets and firing them en masse across the exhibit hall.  What did they expect?

Worth mentioning are Toronto rivals CX digital and Azoogle booths being next to eachother this year.  Also Frazier from CX and Ryan Sessler from Azoogle look a lot alike.

Also funny was to see the singlesnet.com and match.com booths directly across from eachother.  Even more funny was to see so many guys working for dating sites who were so unlikely to…have girlfriends.

Party Drama

Cx Party -

The CX digital party, as mentioned in the last post, was really nice.  Their guest list was only affiliates that worked with them and maybe like 1 guest if they were lucky.  That’s what made their party so good.  No companies trying to pitch them stuff, etc.  Nicky spent a few minutes downstairs in the palms hanging out with the cx people as they were checking people in, and they were turning non-invitees away faster than evolution books in a Wasilla library.  Somehow, Nate Whitehill, the dude who designs like…john chow and uberaffiliates blogs, got in as someone’s guest.  But instead of just staying and enjoying the party, dude starts calling people and telling them to come there and to say they’re his guest.  So these people show up, and the cx people are forced to go down 29 floors to tell the douchebags to leave cause they weren’t invited.  Honestly guys, things are getting a little rough for you on the party scene when you’re trying to namedrop nate whitehill to get into a party.  Just sayin.  Pretend to know the dj or something, at least.

Advaliant Mansion Party -

By now, you have hopefully read the full story of the rug adventures at the advaliant mansion party at red rock.  Nickycakes had half a post written up about this whole ordeal but had to scrap it when Barman beat him to the punch complete with skillfull photoshops and whatnot.  This is probably the funniest story of the whole time in vegas, so go read and enjoy: PPC.BZ MisAdventures: The Rick Flair Rug From the Red Rock Mansion.  And big thanks to c0ck (the guy with the rug) for the cuban cohiba.  He keeps it real on the cigar tip.

Undisclosed Private Poker Game -

Alright, just to repeat, this is all second hand and probably false info.  Anyway, there was this private poker tourney in a suite at one of the bigger hotels in the area.  One of the attendees was John K, owner of bannerblindness, which was featured at #2 on nickycakes’ top 10 worst sites 2k8.  So John ends up losing the poker tournament early…not surprising.  He then proceeds to make this big sales pitch, holding up the game, bragging about how he has 10 employees (lol) and if you need any work done just call him and starts throwing his business cards all over the table like a retard.  John then proceeds to disappear into some room with the two hired adult entertainers who happened to be at the poker tournament.  20 minutes later, an extremely drunk kyle irwin becomes irritated that the adult entertainment has left the party, so armed with his camera phone kyle goes on a quest to find the missing strippers.  Upon opening a door to one of the rooms, Irwin is greeted by angry yelling followed by John throwing water on him and trying to slam the door in his face.  Enraged by the water throwing, irwin proceeds to kick the door open in John’s face a few times before giving up and going back to the party with a hilarious video on his phone.  A few minutes later, Barman needs to use the restroom, which is located through the bedroom in question, so he ends up walking in on John sitting with one of the adult entertainers who then asks barman to “spot him $500″ to pay for some undisclosed activity.  Barman laughs in his face and basically tells him to go F himself, at which point John proceeds to walk out into the party and start individually begging people for money, including asking the head of one of the biggest affiliate networks to spot him $80.  Then, John goes and finds Kyle, who is at this point watching the video with a bunch of other guys and laughing, and buys the memory card from his camera for $100 in a desperate attempt to cover his tracks.  Stay classy, Bannerblindness.

Copeac Party -

Later that evening, in another location, Kyle Irwin from the previous story ends up extremely drunk.  EXTREMELY drunk.  Starts walking around and trash talking pretty much everyone in sight.  He ends up spouting racial slurs and threatening the wrong dude and gets punched in the face once and then ejected from the party.  Guy doing the punching ends up hero of the party and possibly ASW.  Kyle is actually a pretty good guy, usually.  Apparently later he was spotted puking between some slot machines.  Good times.

That’s It For This Year

Well that’s about all Nickycakes has in him about ASW 09.  Now you know what you’re missing if you didn’t go.

Keep it real.

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