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Having had to wade through another year of god-awful “Top 10 Best” diggbait style posts, Nickycakes has yet again compiled a Top 10 WORST Make money online sites list. If you didn’t catch last years post, chiggity check it.
Talk about exploiting the fact that you’re female as your only angle on getting readers. Do you honestly think if the internet marketing crowd weren’t sex-starved parents basement dwelling nerds that you’d have made it over 100 subscribers? Doubtful. When you take time out of your day to make a post about a picture with you and Zac Johnson standing in front of the least unique and most overpriced waste of blog design services (unique blog designs..lol) you know your make money online blog is grasping at straws. It’s cool though, you’ll probably get some drooling acne faced digital point reading college kid to sign up under your adbrite referral link and make you millions! Till then, pack up shop and find a dayjob, or considering ebaying your used undergarments. Nickycakes hears that does well with the same sorta crowd.
If pretending you know about PPC and dressing up as Spiderman and going to childrens playgrounds in the daytime makes you a “super affiliate” then yes, Zac, you are Thuper…err Super..indeed! To be fair, Zac’s blog started out ok. He had some good tips at the beginning on how affiliate marketing worked, a few clever ideas, whatever. And then about a year ago, it all went to crap. Maybe he paid content writers to write his first few blog posts, and then when those articles ran out he had nothing to write for himself, who knows. But it soon became clear that Zac had no idea about PPC. The dude made some decent money back when Yahoo screwed up with their adsense style program and was paying people tons more than they should of per click, but after that dried up and zac’s network of myspace layout sites (lol) got flushed down the toilet, the dude had nothing. He stuttered his way through an agonizing session at Affiliate Summit where he proved he knew absolutely nothing about PPC, and then he was caught ripping off an affiliates landing page word for word right after publishing a guide on how to make landing pages, and was trying to claim he was some kind of expert on the subject. He’s now resorted to devoting entire posts to things like figuring out how to calculate how much money you make per hour….daily revenue / 24….you’re a genius zac…really. This dead horse has been beaten into the ground, time to remove from your rss reader.
Back in early 2007, this blog/forum had a little credibility. No longer. The dude who runs it, Quesadilla, Godzilla, something like that, has turned into the blackhat version of shoemoney, teaming up with the most blatant retards like Marcus “i think making $1k a month cookie stuffing ebay makes me a blackhat allstar” Tandler to try and convince newbies to attend their $5k attendance fee seo gatherings. Really? Seoktoberfest? Nickycakes feels really sorry for whoever shelled out $5k to go hang out with this group of asshats instead of spending that money on something….significantly less lame. Having seen pics of said event, you would have been embarassed to be caught dead at this thing. Either way, total scam, this dude’s fallen off bigtime, and it shows. Keep making posts nitpicking the no-follow tactics of news sites like forbes.com big guy…everyone cares..really they do.
The first giant douchebag make money online blogger was obviously shoemoney. Then someone who wanted to be like him, copied everything he did. His name is john chow. Then uberaffiliate copied john chow, and people copied uber, all the way down the line till you get to TylerCruz.com. Same deal. No good content, tons of worthless posts and contests with the hope that some whale affiliate will accidentally click his link to sign up to marketleverage, or whatever flavor of the month worthless network is sending bloggers free stuff this week, and make him $500 per month to pay for his inevitably unused gym membership and a lifetime supply of little debbies and mt dew. Listen, bro, if you’re going to be a sheep and get one of those oh-so-gay caricatures drawn up as your blog logo, at least get one that doesn’t look 3 times as skinny as you are. Really dude, it looks like you ate the guy in your logo. Be realistic.
Ok, so this guy looks like Napoleon Dynamite, and decides to take the hype that surrounded that movie and move it over into the internet marketing realm by pretending to be this really weird guy. He frequents wickedfire forums where he prentends to be really weird, and makes these videos and really long “intellectual” posts complete with footnotes. People do actually fall for it and it’s sometimes hard to decide who is more idiotic, kemp himself, or the people who don’t realize it’s a big show. Really the only reason this guy is on this list is because he posts on wickedfire a lot…the blog isn’t exactly make money online related…
Do your biggest dreams in life involve making a few hundred dollars a day by pretending to be a girl, visiting chat rooms, and persuading horny guys to sign up to dating services under your affiliate link? Then this forum is full of people just like you. Sign up today. (bhw will likely start some gay thread about this post, and then make a short rally for someone to get some russians to ddos nickycakes’ uber shared hosting acct before giving up like they give up on pretty much everything in life)
Have you ever had a nightmare where there was this guy who barely spoke english and kept sending you im’s every day asking you to read their awful blog posts and to submit them to digg and get your friends to read them…EVERY….DAY. Well Mr. Javo has made that nightmare a reality. There is probably no other blog on the internet that has so many words on it that mean so little. When this guy first started, he contacted as many people as he could and just bugged the living crap out of them until they agreed to digg or sphinn his blog posts or subscribe to his rss feed. He does a “blog revenue” post every month where he includes the amount of money he made total in his affiliate marketing ventures, and it’s always less than $500, yet he has written an e-book on getting started with affiliate marketing. In addition, he has the most annoying to look at caricature blog logo ever drawn. Gives nickycakes a headache just thinking about this guy.
No surprise, digital point forums makes the list yet again. Nickycakes was attempting to not repeat any of the “winners” from last year, but really, its hard to imagine digital point could have actually gotten worse since last year, but it definately has. The place is just a cesspool of 3rd world scammers trying to make a few dollars a month clicking their own adsense ads. It’s really impossible to describe, and the Cakes is probably preaching to the choir here, but if you’re part of the 1% of the readers who have not been there before, you really have to see it for yourself. Make your way to the google adsense section on a rainy sunday weekend for more laughs than you can handle.
For someone who’s been in the industry for a couple years, this guy’s pathetic attempts at viral marketing would be comical if they weren’t so damn sad. He’s another one of those john chow ripoff clones, but can’t even seem to pull that off properly. His latest genius viral marketing plan was to hire some average looking model to dress in wrapping paper, rattle off the names of like 50 affiliate networks and make money online blogs before unwrapping herself on camera. Well, she was clothed in a bikini underneath, and he advertised it as her getting completely naked, strike 1. The dude obviously shelled out a ton of money for this ultimately boring ordeal, strike 2. And he got really upset when everyone called him a failure and demanded backlinks from people for his troubles, strike 3. Here are some simple tips to fix your blog, guy: Get a theme that doesn’t blind people….bright pink and blue? MOAR LIKE COLORBLINDNESS.COM! If you insist on tagging most of your posts with 100+ categories, don’t have wordpress list every category on your sidebar so that it extends about 10 times further down the page than your site content does. Actually…the best tip to fix your blog is just quit the internet man. Just give up.
Timjon claps back with his new joint “100 Bars of Soap” which is more like 140 bars…and is nasty to boot. Only prob Nickycakes sees is he pretty much spends the whole time clowning Dullspace’s rhymes but could have been much more creative by doggin’ his campaigns, landing pages, click costs, epc’s, digital point background, low epc’s, john chow rss subscription…the possibilities are endless. Still, his production is on point, and the boy has serious skills. Is dullspace outie or will he drop knowledge bombs on timjon before christmas?
Well, it looks as if Facebook’s anal ad policies are, indeed, biting them in their collective asses. Facebook’s value estimate has dropped almost 90% since last fall to $2 billion. Granted, the estimate last year was inflated due to microsoft’s buy-in, but still, the company is apparently not even profitable yet. The recent ad policy changes certainly aren’t helping them make more money.
Over the last several weeks, the Facebook Ads COPS team have committed to disabling pretty much every ad on the site that advertises a commercial product, especially anything to do with losing weight. They had already long ago banned things like ringtones, dating (well they haven’t banned dating but they’ve put enough draconian restrictions on it to make it not worth spending the money), scholarships, anything that collects a users information, any ads that have the color orange in them, etc… They claim that these changes create a better user experience which will keep more people on the facebook site, and that sites like myspace who have much less restrictive policies are losing users because of the ads. It’s pretty safe to say that pretty much nobody stopped using myspace because of ads.
Anyway, these new policies are losing facebook tons of money, probably millions a week. Where are those unused advertising dollars going? Their competitors.
So what happens? Their company sinks like a stone even though their membership is growing astronomically. This is what happens when you put a bunch of no-skill ivy leaguers in charge of your company. GUESS WHAT GAIZ….YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO BE PROFITABLE TRYING TO GET GARAGE BANDS TO ADVERTISE WITH PPC, SORRY!
They prolly won’t even send cakes a gift basket for the millions he generated them in revenue this year by writing about their ad system. Not that they could afford it anyway, M I RITE?
Alright, check it. You thought East Coast vs West Coast beef was over in the hip hop world…WRONG….WRONG. You thought m0serious was the realest of the real online marketing rappers…WRONG. Listen guys…things are getting a little to real up in the affiliate marketing underground hip hop world.
First it started out with Dullspace throwin’ down the PPC.bz anthem where he talks about hard times and acai lead caps. Reppin northern cali, he drops some bombs on ryan eagle and amit mehta among others, and for a while was the uncontested champ of the affiliate marketing rap game. You can check the track here:
Everyone thought dullspace had the game sewed up, and dullspace went back to refreshing stats and pimpin acai berry thinkin’ it was safe to chill with a #1 single in the bag. Then not even a few weeks later, he gets a bomb dropped on his own dome when previously unknown PPC rapper Timjon from the ghetto about an hour outside boston records one of the dopest tracks ever to hit online moneymakin. It was clear that this man was about his bidness for real. With amazing production and faster and smoother rhyming, he had the game locked down and dullspace scrambling back to the studio within a few hours. It was kinda like when tupac would come out with a nasty dirty track that would be hot in the clubs for a few weeks and then biggie would team up with mase and puffy and throw mad production dollars in with a flashy video and just have everyone in a daze. Anyway, here’s the track in case you missed it:
Timjon dropped more names than the Game and it seemed like he was gonna be the uncontested champ with dullspace not even showing his face on IRC probably cause he was afraid of gettign clowned…or so everyone thought. Within like a day, dullspace claps back with not only a fresh new track but a music video complete with amex black card unboxing. If you don’t know, you better ask somebody. Not only on youtube but in hi def too mane.
Dullspace brings back his rough recording sound and reps northern cali affiliate marketing and at the same time clowns the shit outta timjon and puts boston online marketing raps to shame. Will timjon make it rain again or just remain punked by dullspace forever?
If you’re an underground AM rapper and want to get your name out, go over to ppc.bz and drop a kite to those bammas and see whats up with getting your track on wax, ya herd?
Wow time does fly. Affiliate Summit West in Vegas is already 1 month away (Jan 11-13). Many of nickycakes.com readers have already been to affiliate summits, and probably already have their tickets for the one next month, so this post is somewhat targeted at new people who have never been before, although there will be some useful information for the veterans as well.
The quick scoop:
Affiliate Summit West is being held in Vegas at the Rio Hotel and Casino on Jan 11th - 13th. The Rio is OFF THE MAIN STRIP in vegas, but there are 2 other big casinos right next door, the Palms and Gold Coast that are both within easy walking distance. The conference consists of a few different parts. There is the exhibit hall, which is like a giant room full of booths, mostly affiliate networks and other related businesses. There are the sessions, where unpaid speakers give talks about various stuff in the industry (nickycakes is doing one of these). And then there are the parties and dinners at night.
The Exhibit Hall:
This is where most people spend the majority of the daytime at the conference if they aren’t sleeping. This year, there will be about 150 booths set up, mostly affiliate networks, traffic sources, and companies like that, who are essentially trying to sell to affiliates. As an affiliate walking around the exhibit hall, you will be asked at pretty much every booth for your business card, and you will be given some sort of sales pitch as to why X network is the best, why they have the highest payouts, most exclusive offers, best affiliate managers, etc. Many affiliates will head straight for the booths of the networks they already work with and go meet their affiliate managers, and chat for a while, and then go socialize with the other affiliates. Copeac generally has the best booth, complete with couches and a keg, as well as foam darts to launch at rival affiliate networks’ booths (*cough* azoogle), although, apparently ads4dough is giving them a run for their money this time. Most of the networks give out some free “schwag” such as t-shirts, pens, etc. AKMG gives out sweet branded skateboards every time, so make sure you try to get in on that! As an affiliate, it’s nice to be able to meet your affiliate managers, for sure, but the real value comes from meeting other affiliates. The pass for just the exhibit hall is $349.
Sessions:
As was posted a few weeks ago, Nickycakes will be speaking at ASW. His will be the first session on Sunday, the beginning of the conference, at 12 Noon. Sessions are just presentations by people in the industry on certain affiliate marketing related topics. The passes that allow access to these sessions are more expensive than the exhibit hall passes. If you can’t afford it, or are on the fence about wether you should get a full pass or exhibit hall, just get exhibit hall. Nickycakes does love affiliate summit, and shawn collins is a great guy, but some of the sessions just aren’t worth the money. For example, there is a session on the second day about facebook ads, with a facebook ads sales guy and Zac Johnson. Zac Johnson knows jack shit about facebook ads, let alone ppc, and even admitted it at his terribly awkward affiliate summit west panel last year. To get access to that session you’d have to pay about $1300 in advance or $1800 at the door…not really worth it. There are some sessions that look ok, but most of the good ones are geared towards merchants and networks. The ones aimed at affiliates just look like garbage. C’mon…rosalind gardner talking about ppc strategies? That’s like asking John Chow how to write useful blog content. Nickycakes will do his best, however, to make his session on the first day as good as possible. Luckily, to see that session you only have to get the “Gold” pass, which costs $549 in advance.
Parties and Dinners and stuff:
Here’s where the real fun stuff happens. There are a ton of affiliate networks that go to these events, and the good ones like to take good care of their affiliates. This means hosting nice dinners and parties for people. If you have some affiliate manager that is going to the conference, it shouldn’t be too hard to get them to take you out to eat in vegas. Just make sure you ask ahead of time so peoples schedules dont get full. And then there are the parties. This is the tricky part because you have to decide which ones to go to. There are often 4-5 different ones at the same time, and the last thing you want is to get stuck at some lame shareasale snoozefest sausage party with john chow riding around on his segway and a bunch of sweaty nerds crowded around ms danielle. The key here is to find the networks with people who you know like to have a good time and arent corporate douchebags. Some network parties that you will not want to miss will be Advaliant, Copeac, and CX Digital. Advaliant promises to have a party to beat their last one in NY which, if you heard about it or were there, was probably the best party in affiliate marketing conference party history. Copeac and CX’s parties are rumored to be in big ass suites at the top of the Palms, and unconfirmed sources say there my or may not be NSFW entertainment at all of these parties. They will probably be invite only, so make sure you sign up to those networks so you’ll be able to get in. After the parties, there are afterparty type deals. A lot of affiliates have big suites and stuff, and theres always upstanding venues such as spearamint rhino to attend.
Hotels:
Alright, well the first thing to know about the hotel situation is, the Rio, where the conference is being held, has rooms for a decent price. In fact with this link you can book rooms there for $49 per night, which is an amazing deal. If there are no more rooms left at the Rio, there are a ton of other hotels you can book at. The Rio is not on the main strip, however, so the other 2 good choices are Palms and Gold Coast which are right next to the Rio. Gold Coast is where Cakes stayed last year, and it was great. Really cheap rooms..like $25-50 a night, and the place a lot less upscale than Palms, but it was a ton of fun. Lots of hicks, old people, and old people hicks. They have a bangin $10 buffet and some fun poker tables. The Palms is off the hook, and if you’re ballin, then get a room there, definately nice. You could also stay at a hotel on the strip, like Bellagio or Caesars, but keep in mind you’ll probably need to cab it to the Rio, or get a rental car.
Transportation:
First, airfare. Nickycakes uses kayak.com, but there are a bunch of sites like it to find cheap tickets online. Vegas airfare is always cheap. Roundtrip should only run you less than $400…much less depending on where you live. From LA it’s about $120 round trip, so you west coast people have no excuse.
Ok, so getting from the airport to your hotel is easy: take a cab. Theres some cheap shuttle bus that goes to the casinos or whatever, but just take a cab, way easier. You could also rent a car, which might be a good idea if you dont plan on drinking too much at night and want to get around to casinos and stuff on the strip, or go shopping at the outlets in the day. There are cabs lined up at pretty much all the casinos at all times though, so thats always a good option.
Business Cards:
Every affiliate summit, affiliates run to staples at the last minute and get all stressed about getting business cards printed up. Unnecessary. The only thing you end up using business cards for is putting them in the fishbowls at the network booths to try and win prizes. Everyone will ask you for them, no matter who they are, and the only thing that will ever come out of it will be a sales call from them 2 weeks later. At adtech, nickycakes just ended up leaving his in the hotel room. If you want to talk to a network, get their card, they’ll have them. Don’t waste your money unless you really do want business cards, but its seriously not needed. And if you DO decide to get business cards, dont use shitty vistaprint ones. Try to find a local stationery store and get some real ones printed up with nice card stock. Don’t get tons of colors on some tacky ass glossy cards. *gag*
Pricing:
Ok, as much as Nickycakes loves Shawn Collins, he has a gripe about the prices. For an event where its mostly the affiliate networks trying to sell themselves to affiliates, the affiliates are charged quite a lot to attend. It really should be free for affiliates, or at most $100 for an exhibit hall pass. Enough to weed out the 3rd world freeloaders from digital point, but not enough to be insulting. There are 3 different types of passes, Platinum, Gold, and Silver.
Silver - $349 in advance, $449 at the door. This is the exhibit hall pass.
Gold - $549 in advance, $749 at the door. This is the exhibit hall pass plus all the sessions on sunday, including Nickycakes’ session, and access to the entire conference sessions on video after the conference, including the sessions from the other days.
Platinum - $1,249 in advance, $1749 at the door. This includes all the stuff from Gold and Silver, plus the sessions from monday and tuesday, the keynote, the breakfast and lunch meals on monday and tuesday, and like $1k less one dollar bills to make it rain in the vegas strip clubs. Get this pass if you seriously think listening to zac johnson, who knows nothing about facebook ppc, talking about ppc is worth the extra $1k.
Discounts!
Ok, Shawn was nice enough to at least give Nickycakes some discount codes for the passes.
ASW09SLASH100: $100 off the silver pass (exhibit hall pass). This wont get you access to Nickycakes’ panel, but is a good deal if you are an affiliate and just want to come hang out with the other affiliates and see the affiliate networks and stuff.
ASW09NICKYCAKES: 10% off any pass type, including the gold or platinum passes, which both give you access to Nicky’s panel on sunday.
So why is this a good investment?
People have been asking this question to Nickycakes and others quite a bit recently. Why bother going? Honestly, even if you didn’t even go to the conference itself and just attend the parties, the contacts you make and the information you get just by chatting with other affiliates in the industry is incredible. Just from some info nickycakes got at ASE this year, he was able to grow some of his campaigns to 5 times the profit they were making before. Airfare round trip shouldn’t run you more than $400 if you live in the US, so its not really going to break the bank.
